Confronting Life Threatening Illness
By John Whitacre

 

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About the Author:

John D. Whitacre

Picture taken in Fall of 1989. Doctors were still predicting it would be

"exceptional" if John survived to Spring of 1990.

From R-L, Michael, John, Arlene (wife) and Nancy Whitacre

On Thursday, May 18, 1989, following hours of exploratory surgery, John Whitacre was determined to have a primary cancer of the pancreas with liver involvement. The diagnosis was preceded by approximately six weeks of severe illness with jaundice. Unable to eat or take fluids for days at a time, John was kept alive by intravenous supplied fluids and nourishment during the six weeks period preceding his surgery. After the surgery and his medical diagnosis and prognosis, John was sent home to convalesce and most probably die.

The stress this event imposed on John and the Whitacre family (his wife Arlene, and two children, Michael [18] and Nancy [13]) was extreme.

John and his family had to adjust to the fact that his life could be limited to about eight weeks, most certainly less then one year. All John's plans for the future were useless. His ability to provide for the needs and security of his family were shattered by his inability to work and the prospect of imminent death. In a matter of eight weeks the family had gone from the relative security of their daily routines of work and life, to facing the loss of the primary bread winner and a key member of the family. From a sense of security John and his family were immersed in the uncertainty of their future.

But John did not die. Instead, out of this disorder, pain and suffering, John employed a series of methods to cope with the realities of the moment and the uncertainty of tomorrow. In 1992 John completed the book Confronting Life-Threatening Illness which centers on the important lessons he learned and the coping methods he used through out his experience. Fully recovered from his experience, in 1994 John returned to full time work, after 5 years of medical retirement.

Pierian Press (P.O. Box 1808 * Ann Arbor, Michigan 48106 or Call Toll-Free 1-800-678-2435)

Preface (1)

by John G. Pfaendtner

John Whitacre often refers to his book, Confronting Life Threatening Illness, as a workbook. It is in fact a description of how he worked to organize his life when he was diagnosed as being terminally ill. Doctors gave him no hope of surviving for more than a few months. His life was instantly reduced to chaos. Every plan he had for the future was useless. Every aspect of his life had to change. He experienced the feeling that is felt by most people confronting a life-threatening illness, the overwhelming feeling that they have suddenly lost control of everything in their lives.

John's workbook offers an excellent method of regaining a feeling of control. It describes how to reframe the chaos into order and offers a way to find enjoyment and peace with the days that lie ahead. It offers a way to face the possibility of death with dignity while making the most of the time with your family and friends.

Preface (2)

by Salomon Bazini, M.D.

John Whitacre is a miracle. He healed from cancer of the pancreas. That is unheard of. He has used this unique opportunity very efficiently by producing his wonderfully written book, Confronting Life-Threatening Illness.

I am a cancer patient and Confronting Life-Threatening Illness has helped me put things into perspective amidst the chaos imposed by the illness and surrounding events. The book deals with crucial matters from a practical standpoint. From the simple to the complex. Matters as simple as getting a handicap sticker to matters as weighty as a last will and testament.

John Whitacre advocates the philosophy that after pain and nausea are under control, life should be enjoyed fully. Even important decisions taken. My wife and I decided to get married while I was deathly ill in the hospital. Getting married was very important to me. In one of my grandiose moments I had compared our "perfect" relationship to God's molding of the human form. Getting married was giving our relationship the "divine breath." I am sure that making my last days pain free (there are wonderful new methods to control pain), as well as a receptive life philosophy, and my wife's enthusiasm made the endeavor possible.

John Whitacre has done a terrific job bringing "optimism for life's best" to the process of facing a life-threatening illness. I am determined to take one step at a time, and enjoy every moment I have left. .... every bite of the apple.

 

Preface (3)

by Francine Cimino Cole

A bitter lemon can become sweet lemonade. John Whitacre's illness and terminal diagnosis was a bitter personal event. Yet he chose to sweeten his fate by creating order out of a potentially chaotic situation; in this book, John shares these experiences with us. In a timely and practical manner, this book provides a step-by-step guide that will help other persons who are facing life-threatening illnesses, and their families, to find a sense of control in a potentially "helpless and hopeless" situation. John describes ways for the patient to care for his or her loved ones even when no longer capable of providing physical care; and directions the patient can leave to govern future events when the patient can no longer make his or her own decisions.

In a deeper sense, John shares with us his appreciation for the simple "act of being." Through his experience, we begin to appreciate the fact that we are all terminal. Once this is truly understood, we can then begin to live authentically.

INTRODUCTION

Confronting Life Threatening Illness is addressed to those of you who, like me, are facing a life-threatening illness. Looking back at my own experience with the medical, financial, and legal aspects of a health crisis and its social/emotional impact on me and my family, I have attempted to assemble what I have learned into a book that hopefully will help other persons experiencing similar events.

This book will be of help to your close support structure as well-your family, your friends. But I have addressed it specifically to you-the patient.

Inside this book you will find tips on what to expect emotionally and how to deal with the medical community, tips on family crisis management, tips on selecting help, and tips on how to enhance the quality of life for you and your family. In addition, you will find descriptions of legal documents that may be needed and appropriate.

Also included are a series of flow charts, check lists, and work sheets to help you assemble essential personal information; you will derive a sense of satisfaction, comfort, and relief in knowing that this information has been identified, detailed, and consolidated in one place. These forms will help you detail your finances, key-person contacts, important documents, and medical directive choices. Furthermore, the forms will help you identify and prioritize key items to emphasize so that you can enhance your quality of life and add joy to the days that lie ahead.

Hints for the Patient, Family, and Care-givers

Personal Care

You come first—take care of yourself. This may sound selfish, but it is good advice. The state of crisis constantly changes and places great demands on your energy and talents. To effectively manage crisis, you must conserve your energy and talents.

Sleep and Rest

You need to get adequate sleep and rest. Establish and maintain a regulated eating schedule. Take a break whenever you need one. Get out of the hospital room, leave the hospital, do whatever is necessary to retain your sense of balance. You must actually "make a break" for yourself. Get a doctor's help if you can't sleep or rest.

Screen Calls

Enlist a family member to screen telephone calls or install an answering machine on your telephone at home. You must protect yourself from the constant bombardment of well-wishing friends and those wanting information. Screen your calls and determine those that require immediate response. After a difficult visit or day at the hospital, you need time for yourself. Calls that are not urgent can be returned when you are rested or when your schedule permits.

Resume Daily Routines

Maintain as much routine and normalcy in your life as possible while balancing the demands of the immediate crisis. Any degree of established routine in your life will help. Getting up each morning at a scheduled time, taking a shower, shaving or putting on make-up, eating a regular breakfast, reading the morning paper—these are all important matters of routine!

Not All Crises Are Equal

Keep yourself in shape so that you can distinguish between "small" and "big" crises, problems, and decisions. Each crisis you face will be unique in intensity and importance. Big crises necessitate big changes in your lifestyle and living conditions. As you face each new situation, you experience a degree of uncertainty relative to its outcome. More facts become evident with time. With the facts come clarification and stabilization. Facts about each crisis enable you to determine if it is big or small and enable you to make intelligent decisions. Small crises entail little or no change in your life.

Blow Off Steam

When a crisis lasts more than a few days and becomes, instead, weeks with intense stress, you need to blow off some steam. You need to do something positive for yourself. Try a complete change of environment. Go out to the zoo or to a museum. See a movie or a play. Read an entertaining and fun book unrelated to your personal crisis. "Reading can take you anywhere."

Balance Doing It Yourself and Letting Others Help

Do what you can do for yourself to maintain a sense of independence and control. Let others help you when the need arises and out of a sense of grace. Allow others in your support group to help when they offer. This allows them to also maintain a sense of usefulness, independence, and control at a time of medical crisis. Get help when the need arises and when medical equipment needs attention that you have not been trained to handle. If the quantity of quality or your nursing care is a concern speak to the head nurse in change of your care and inform your doctor. The large majority of nurses take great pride in their work and want to meet your medical care needs and make you as comfortable as possible.

Get Help at Time of Crisis

Share, even delegate, as much of the crisis load as possible among family members and primary caregivers. When the need arises, do not hesitate to use professional advisors and service providers who are within your financial means.

If you are restricted to a chair or bed, you will need the help of others to meet your basic needs. They can provide basic home care needs such as meals, cleaning, and laundry, do the shopping, and supply transportation to doctors and required medical services. Some can pursue sources of help for you such as an attorney, financial counselor, nursing service, or hospice. In short, you can depend on others to keep work going, take care of the home front, and care for your important needs.

Copyright © 1992, 1997 John Whitacre. All rights reserved.

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